The Dangerous Bride


What do you do when your husband claims to be madly in love with you, but doesn’t desire you sexually? When your therapist is more interested in opening an online sex-toy shop with your husband than in saving your marriage? Do you try yet another counsellor, get divorced or settle for a sexless marriage?

Lee Kofman, rebellious daughter of ultra-orthodox Jews, has always sought her own way. True to her Bohemian dream where love can coexist with sexual freedom, she decided to experiment with an open marriage . . . despite the fact that her previous non-monogamous relationship ended in disaster.

Hoping she could do better the second time round, Lee embarked on a personal exploration to find out whether she could save her marriage while being non-monogamous in an ethical way. Set during Lee’s first years in Australia, it is also the story of migration, and an exploration of the eternal conflict between our desire for security, but also for foreign places—in love and elsewhere. The Dangerous Bride tells the story of her quest.



‘Strikingly candid and candidly engrossing’ KATE HOLDEN

‘This is a very serious book, a very literary book, but it is a lot of fun as well… It is, of course, a sexy book too.’ MARIA TUMARKIN

‘[Lee’s] writing is poetic and self-assured. Her inflamed prose matches her no-holds-barred approach to her subject… It’s a brave book.’ Sydney Morning Herald/The Age

‘The intellectually engaged way in which Kofman charts the intricacy of her own desire is masterful, and something rarely encountered in memoir… The Dangerous Bride is an original book… It is constantly engaging and surprising, and Kofman’s is a refreshing voice on the Australian literary scene.’ The Newtown Review of Books

‘Tender and challenging, The Dangerous Bride strikes an exquisite balance between the investigative and the deeply personal that typifies the very best memoir writing.’ Readings

The Dangerous Bride is an important memoir, and more honest than any book I’ve ever read.’ CHARLES BANE JR., nominee as Poet Laureate of Florida, USA.

‘This book will appeal to anyone for two reasons: first, because of the author’s rich allusions to literature and famous authors, and secondly, because of the quality of her writing… Strongly recommended.’ ANNETTE MARFORDING, 2bbb fm Radio

‘It is a provocative read on femininity, sexuality, and aging, painful at times, always poignant and non-judgmental. It’s not a how-to book, but a book on how-it-was, which can sometimes be more instructive for those finding their way.’ Angela Serano Blog: The Best Writing I encountered in 2015

‘I still find myself recommending it to almost everyone I speak to. A huge talent.’ Walterblog, My Favorite Books of 2014

‘Kofman’s powers of observation are quite stunning and her love of poetry is evident in her prose writing.’ Bookbirdie Blog

The Dangerous Bride is a wonderful, engrossing and thought-provoking read. Recommended for anyone who likes memoirs, non-fiction, philosophical questions or glimpses of historical literature.’ EmHawker Blog

‘This is a memoir that grabs you from the start, holds nothing back and makes you think about the complexity of relationships.’ VoxBendigo (Bendigo Writers Festival) Blog

‘Wow is what I thought throughout all of the book.’ 4 stars Cathy Powel Blog

‘A really engaging, accessible exploration from an exciting voice.’ Jen Squire Blog

‘The prose shines with description and metaphor.’ Vampires in the Sunburnt Country blog

‘Wow is what I thought throughout all of the book.’ Wandering Sheila Blog

‘This was a beautifully written memoir that transcends the confessional and does what great creative fiction should do, uses the personal in order to tell a universal story and give the reader pleasure, and a moment of reflection on their own lives.’ Amra Pajalic Blog

‘I found it difficult to put down once I had picked it up.’ Alex de Fircks Blog

Natasha Lester’s Book Chat: Video Book Club

DB-studioThe Dangerous Bride makes it to artist Eric Morgan’s studio




DBkateHoldenDiscussing my memoir with author Kate Holden at The Avenue bookshop.





The Dangerous Bride has been featured a lot in the media and extracts from it have been published in Mamamia and in Heartland: Celebrating 50 years of the Australian Conservation Foundation (2015, Five Miles Press). Here are a few examples of articles and interviews:

Article in Good Weekend, 20th October 2016

Article in the Herald Sun, 7th February 2015

Radio interview on ABC, Conversations with Richard Fidler

Radio interview on New Zealand Radio National, Nine to Noon

Interview on Varuna The Writers House website